Ah, the single life. The blind dates, the guiltless sleeping in the starfish position, the "table for one in a draught, please". In this book comedian Jeff Green offers practical advice on how to find love, or failing that how to pretend you've got a significant other half.

Ah, the single life. The blind dates, the guiltless sleeping in the starfish position, the "table for one in a draught, please". In this book, Jeff Green offers practical advice on how to find love, or failing that how to pretend you've got a significant other half. For women: leave the fridge door open for no reason. For men: wash your towels. And if you've just been dumped, Jeff shows how you can reach "closure", otherwise known as uncompromising REVENGE. Green also includes great chat-up lines for the older lover - "Did you break a hip when you fell from heaven?"; beauty tips for dates - how to look 20 years younger? Stand further away; and things not to say on a first date - would you like to see my shrine to the others? If you're in a couple, this book will remind you why your own situation is - just about - worth tolerating. And if you're happily single, follow Jeff's advice and you're guaranteed to stay that way.