Provides an introduction to the practical basics of counselling. Starting with a guide to the qualities, knowledge and skills required to become a 'listening helper', this book provides a framework for a counselling session, helping you to manage the process. It illustrates how you can create a positive relationship between listener and speaker.

Whether you are considering becoming a counsellor, have to provide some form of counselling as part of your job, or are simply interested in communicating well, "Counselling Skills For Dummies" provides the perfect introduction to the practical basics of counselling. Starting with a thorough guide to the qualities, knowledge and skills needed to become a 'listening helper', the book goes on to provide a framework for a counselling session, helping you to successfully manage a potentially daunting process. It illustrates how you can create a positive relationship between listener and speaker and how asking the right questions is so important to the progression of that relationship. It also shows how you can better understand yourself, which is a crucial step in ensuring that you break down your own barriers to listening.

Introduction
About This Book
Conventions Used in This Book
What You're Not to Read
Foolish Assumptions
How This Book is Organised
Part I: Focusing on Yourself First
Part II: The Listening Helper
Part III: Structuring a Helping Conversation
Part IV: Understanding People and Problems
Part V: Putting it into Practice
Part VI: Part of Tens
Appendix: Becoming a Counsellor
Icons Used in This Book
Where to Go from HerePart I: Focusing on Yourself First Chapter 1: Introducing Counselling Skills (10)
Knowing yourself before understanding others
Working safely and ethically
Being a listening helper

The key skills you need

Common problems stopping you from listening
Beginnings, Middles and Ends: Structuring the conversation
Understanding others

Being prepared for common personal problems

Spotting the signs of stress and distress

Coping with different types of conversation

Exploring counselling further



Chapter 2: Understanding yourself through personal development
Things that can get in the way of a helping relationship

Internal distractions

Assumptions and prejudices


Ideas for taking your personal development further by yourself

Fact or fiction, reading is good

Writing and art as therapy

Film, theatre and television can advance your understanding

Choosing activities to challenge you
Taking personal development further with other people

Peer group discussions

Co-counselling

Personal therapy Chapter 3: Taking care of yourself
Evaluating your self-care
Your support network

Personal supports

Consultation and supervision

Developing your internal supervisor

Replenishing your batteries
Cultivating appropriate assertiveness Chapter 4: Maintaining Good Practice
Your accountability

Knowing your responsibilities

A note of caution about 'dual roles'

Monitoring and reflecting on your work
Ethical dilemmas
When not to listen
Working with crisis and risk

Discriminating between crisis, urgent and important

Child Protection

Suicide and self harm
Keeping records

Organisational requirements

Stick to the facts

Data protection
Part II: The Listening Helper Chapter 5: Being a listening helper
The value of listening

How listening helps the talker

How listening helps the helper

The If...Then...hypothesis
Understanding the range of listening help

Different roles mean differing skills

Knowing your role
How Being a listening helper might affect you

In your job role

In your personal life

In enhancing your career

In impacting your personal resources

In playing on your emotions

In moving outside your comfort zone Chapter 6: Qualities, Skills and Knowledge for listening
What it takes to be a listening helper

Personal resources

A sense of commitment

Developing your personal qualities
A three stage model to guide you
Working with active listening skills

Identifying the skills

Managing the helping process

Encouraging self-direction and motivation
Other knowledge that will help you Chapter 7: Recognising your own barriers to listening
(12)
The power of our defences

How our defences operate

How we respond when we are defensive

The interactive effects of defensive behaviour

Looking for the causes of our defensive reactions

What we can do about our defences
Examples of defences in action: the Misses and Mister MenPart III: Structuring a Helping Conversation Chapter 8: Establishing a helping relationship

When the relationship starts

Fostering a good start

Meeting the speaker

Greeting the speaker

Seating and proximity
Managing the process

Making a contract

Managing the story
Core conditions

Respecting the speaker

Communicating empathy

Being genuine Chapter 9: Beginning the discussion (30)
Having a structure in mind

The Three Stage Model as a process

Encouraging Exploration

Increasing Understanding

Facilitating Action
Hearing the story

A picture tells a thousand words - non-verbal communication

Conveying the Core Conditions

The importance of emotions and the feelings below the surface

Two types of reflection

Don't underestimate paraphrasing and summarising

Exploring the presenting story and sub-plots
The art of questions

The purpose of questions

Potential negative effects of questions

Alternatives to questions

Using questions constructively

We are asked questions too Chapter 10: Moving through the conversation (20)
Getting below the surface

Deeper levels of empathy

Notice themes
Challenge and confrontation

Using immediacy

Notice gaps and contradictions

Be specific

Focus and prioritise
Decision making and problem solving

Making an assessment

Identifying goals

Some techniques for supporting problem-solving

Encouraging active participation Chapter 11: Ending the conversation (12)
Our own experiences of endings and transition
Managing the ending

Time management

'Weaning off'

Working with difficult endings

Reviewing and future-proofing
How to say goodbye and what comes after


Hugs, handshakes and gifts

Referral

Evaluation and follow-upPart IV: Understanding People and Problems Chapter 12: Being prepared for common personal problems
How people experience problems

Using the BEST RIB-SET model

Behaviour

Emotions

Sensation

Thinking

Relationships

Imagery

Body

Spirit

Environment

Time
Signs and symptoms of distress
Typical issues that cause or result in distress




Chapter 13: Understanding people from a social perspective (12)
Power in society and in helping relationships
Prejudice, oppression and your own attitudes

Physical and mental disability

Different ethnic backgrounds

Class is still an issue

Ageism across the spectrum

The range of sexuality
The influence of your setting
Of course I'm not prejudiced...am I? Chapter 14: Understanding individuals from a psychological perspective (12)
The effects of our history
Coping with transitions

Change and loss

Bereavement
Substance use and misuse
Disturbed emotions

Dealing with anger

Anxiety, panic and avoidance

Low mood and depression

Post trauma symptoms

Difficulties related to life stages

Mental ill-health
Sexual issues
Relationship problems Part V: Putting it into Practice Chapter 15: Case studies and discussion (20)
A reminder of what listening is for
Limits of listening

When you should consider referring people on
BEST RIBS in action

Case studies

The ethical dimension Chapter 16: Coping with different types of helping conversations (10)
The influence of your role and setting

Using counselling skills with friends and family

Using counselling skills as part of another role
Face to face compared with telephone and email conversations

The relationship differences when working unseen

Different skills for working unseen

Other issues that may arise
Unplanned and unexpected conversations Chapter 17: What could possibly go wrong (8)
Being taken advantage of
Making friends with your 'client'
Someone comes to harm
Being the subject of a complaintPart VI: Part of Tens Chapter 18: Ten key counselling skills
Paraphrasing
Summarising
Reflecting
Empathy
Non-verbal encouragement
Questioning
Elaboration
Immediacy
Confronting
Problem-solving Chapter 19: Ten resources to explore counselling skills further
BACP

MIND
Cruse
Samaritans
Relate
Victim Support
Books
Journals
Internet resources
Further and Higher Education

Chapter 20: Ten authors to further your understanding Gerard Egan Colin Feltham Margaret Gough Francesca Inskipp Dave Mearns and Brian Thorne Richard Nelson-Jones Tony Merry John McLeod Carl Rogers Pete SandersAppendix: Becoming a Counsellor Think about why you want to become a counsellor (2)

The wounded healer

A note of caution
Being realistic about opportunities for jobs once qualified

The rewards of being a counsellor Training and Education for counselling (12)
What you need to know and learn to go on to being a counsellor

Typical entry criteria for Diploma level training

Qualifications you will need Personal Qualities Counselling Skills knowledge Counselling Skills experience Commitment to training and what it involves Knowing which course is right for you Practical Academic level Theoretical orientation Reputation
Gaining experience
Accreditation